Tennessean, November 7, 1999
"What I like about her approach is it reminds us to 'shine the flashlight' more on ourselves than point fingers at partners when relationships fail. Knowing yourself and why you have certain attractions can prevent you from making the same mistakes, she says. That's a vast simplification of a complex theory outlined in detail in her book, but it does make sense, not to mention interesting reading."

Foreword, October 1999
"...she provides a trenchant analysis of this most exciting, most significant experience without once diminishing its 'divine madness'."

From Isadora Alman, San Francisco Bay Guardian, October 27, 1999
"If you expect no definitive answers on either the conscious or unconscious nature of falling in love and making it work, if you are looking for a plausible excuse to examine the intimate relationships of those around you and, perhaps, your own, if you're interested in relationships in the abstract, whether 'true' in its conclusions or not, FALLING IN LOVE is a fascinating book on an ever engrossing topic."

From Kirkus Reviews
A couples therapists clinical look at how and why we fall in love removes some of the mystery from that most magical of human experiences. Pines (Romantic Jealousy, 1992; Keeping the Spark Alive, 1988), a social psychologist and researcher who is also a clinical psychologist specializing in relationship issues, tackles her subject from both perspectives. As a social psychologist and researcher she analyzes how we fall in love; her clinical experience and psychodynamic theories come into play in the exploration of why we choose a particular person. She draws extensively on three studies: interviews with 100 men and women about their romantic relationships; a cross-cultural study comparing American and Israeli accounts of falling in love; and interviews with 100 couples comparing their reasons for falling in love with later stress in their relationship. Pines describes falling in love as a staged process. First is geographic proximity; then a state of emotional arousal; awareness of the others appealing appearance and personality; discovery of similarities; and finally, with growing intimacy, the revelation of deeper psychological needs and the mutual ability to satisfy them. Gender differences and the evolutionary, social, and psychoanalytic theories that seek to explain them are also examined. As to why we fall in love with a particular person, Pines looks at various psychological theories and concludes that an internal romantic image plays a key role in whom we choose and that childhood experiences of love shape this image. Interviews with four individuals reveal how early relationships with parents affected subsequent romantic ones; Steve, for instance, was abandoned by his father and terrified of the live-in boyfriends of his cruel and demanding mother. He fell in love with a domineering woman and found the relationship exciting but scary, and he remains unattached. Not a how-to guide for the lovelorn but a serious, research-oriented work of special interest to those involved in couples therapy.
Copyright ©1999, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

SELECTED REVIEWS FOR
Romantic Jealousy

Journal of Social and Personal Relationships
"The book is inherently readable, containing an estimable balance of digested knowledge from the empirical literature, combined with carefully chosen and expertly delineated first-person accounts of both the sources and throes of jealousy....Pines offers a sound and even-handed presentation of the causes and consequences of jealousy from various theoretical perspectives....In so doing, she provides both expert and novice with a clear comprehension of the underlying assumptions, predictions, and evidence associated with each theoretical stance....most readers will find that the present work opens new avenues for their understandings of the causes and expressions of jealousy....anyone interested in the general field of interpersonal relationships will find this book to be an excellent introduction to the complexities of jealousy.”

Dale Larson, Department of Psychology, Santa Clara University
"The definitive book on the psychology of jealousy. Compelling real-life vignettes and astute practical advice make this required reading for all lovers and for counselors who work with jealous couples.."

Elliot Aronson, Department of Psychology, University of California at Santa Cruz
"Pines has provided us with a provocative and illuminating look at jealousy; her insights should prove extremely useful to couples grappling with one of the oldest and most difficult of interpersonal issues. An important book.."

Caribbean Wedding Guide - Fall/Winter, 1998
"This book is a compelling account of the psychology of jealousy. Ayala Pines...journeys into the deep recesses of the human mind and heart, exposing the dynamics of jealousy and offers the most effective ways to keep those jealous impulses under control."

“Having herself done many surveys in this area, Dr. Pines bases her treatment approach on research findings. Often as therapists we are asked by the couples we see in our offices to suggest a book that we think would be helpful for them to read.  Ayala Pines’ Couple Burnout is the one I will now recommend.  She translates theory and research clearly and makes her ideas accessible to the couples we treat. In reading this book, couples will be affirmed in their struggles to develop more realistic expectations and in their attempts to create new, and potentially more fulfilling, ways to relate to one another.”